Sit down restaurants - the only place you certainly don't want to eat alone. Sure you see people all the time sitting at the bar dining and watching their favorite sports show, but when you aren't into sports or drinking, you tend to prefer to sit away from all that... you know, like a booth, but that's strange to do so by yourself.
You don't want to be strange.
But this moment you will settle for strange because you want to avoid any awkward conversation about sporting and drunken simple talk. So you walk into the restaurant, kindly tell the person that you are dining for one, and then tell them you prefer the booth.
Now the fun begins.
Every dine-in restaurant has a waiter. Waiters are an excellent concept that provide you refill’s, take your order, and so much more. The downside is that you never know who your waiter will be and how much they will talk. Since you are sitting alone, chances are they are going to talk to you even more, probably ask why you didn't sit at the bar, or maybe ask if you are waiting for someone. Nope, you are here for that amazing cheesecake. It's all that matters.
You sit down, and in the distance is your waiter.
You look at the menu intensely; try not to look up because you know that your waiter will see you. Avoid eye contact; act like you are in deep thought on the overly cramped menu (although it's probably not cramped at all, maybe only a few items in massive text).
"Hi there! What are you drinking today?"
You quickly respond and act like you are surprised because you were in such deep analysis over the menu.
"Oh, yes, hi, I umm.. will have a coke".
"No problem, I'll be right back".
You did it, now you are going to receive that delicious sugary beverage.
So now that that's over, you forgot to tell the waiter your order because you were in so much thought on how to make as little conversation as possible. Now you have to wait until the waiter gets back with your coke and then act like you are still scanning the menu intensely.
"Here's your coke, are you ready to order?"
At last, I don't even have to tell the waiter I'm ready! But I'm still going to act like I'm surprised.
"Oh, hi, yes I'll have the orange chicken".
Yes! Two conversations down and hopefully one or two more to go. Today has been really social so far. At this point I reach for my glass to take a few sips out of this delicious well earned coke. I try not to drink too fast, because I know drinking too quickly means more refills which then equals more conversation. I wish this place had a self-serve soda machine, but I guess this will do for now. I have to remember I'm here for that delicious cheesecake at the end.
Okay, I'm drinking way too fast. My coke is already half glass and I'm sitting here in this booth alone. I was confident for a little while, but knowing that I'm now on radar for drink refill is making me nervous. Okay nervous is an understatement, I've been nervous this whole time. Maybe I'll have my food soon?
Oh look, I see my food in the distance. Better take a drink so I don't have to say anything when the waiter arrives.
"Here's your orange chicken sir, is there anything else you need, perhaps a refill?"
Timed perfectly. I could use one.
"Oh, yes, thank you".
Oh yeah, a refill, food, and two conversations already down. This is a success. At this point I start eating like I haven't ate all day. I don't focus on anything but my plate. It's just me, orange chicken and...
"Here's your coke sir. You can pay whenever you are ready".
That caught me by surprise.
"Oh, thank you."
I then realize how much I say the word "oh" when my waiter talks to me. This is so silly; I should come up with something better to say. I can't always be surprised, I mean, I knew what I was getting into and I knew where the waiter was pretty much at all times.
Well the dinner was good, I guess I'll go ahead and pay now. Paying is pretty easy, you just pay by card so you can avoid getting cash back and leaving an awkward tip, and really all you have to do is say thanks and leave a decent tip with the printed receipt.
"Here's your receipt sir, thank you and have a great day".
"Oh, you too, thanks".
I said "oh" again. I just told myself to not do that. I guess I'll go ahead and grab a peppermint on the way out. Sounds like a good dessert.
Wait... speaking of dessert, did I forget my cheesecake?
Maybe I’ll remember next time.